Eight Words
by Crimson Cupcake
Summary: :B-Day present to Gokudera!: Eight looks at Gokudera Hayato's life from each letter of his name. 'G is for Gentle...' :Oneshot! Gokudera-centric!:


**A/N:** Where I live, it's a little late for Gokudera's birthday. But late Happy Birthday to him! xD I give up. I can't write angst. ^^ So here's Gokudera Hayato summed up in eight words. Which, _coincidentally_, all begin with a letter of his last name. He's a fascinating character, isn't he?

_Disclaimer: Me? Own Reborn? Who are you kidding? Just read the fic xD_

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G is for GENTLE**

Long ago in times of peace, he had played the piano. He had played it smoothly and beautifully and each note pressed to utter perfection. Long ago in times of confusion he had looked around for someone to confide in. He had looked and sought and found only scornful faces all too eager to send him on his way. Long ago in times of loneliness he had wandered around the streets, alone, desperately searching for a place to take him in. But the faces he had seen reminded him too much of old, and none would take him.

Long ago in times of hope he had heard of the Vongola. He had journey miles from Italy to Japan, all for a wish and a hope that maybe someday he would get accepted. Not so long ago in times of harmony he had found a Boss to confide in, a Boss to help and nurture and serve and understand and he would serve that Boss no matter the cost. Long ago he had forgotten how to love, but now he remembered once more and was grateful for the help he had been provided to find it.

As he stared into the stormy clouds swirling across the sky, Gokudera Hayato sighed into the humid air. The Storm was supposed to be fast and strong and daring, hurting when he wished and blowing away all enemies that stood in his way. He was supposed to roar and thunder at them and unleash terror that would strike a thousandfold into their hearts and he was supposed to smirk coldly when the lightning smashed and the rain poured endlessly.

He was supposed to do that.

But he could not.

**O is for ORIGINAL**

Gokudera Hayato had not been lying when he said he invented the G-code because he was bored. He had not been lying when he said he wanted to use Shamal's mosquitoes as weapons and he had not been lying when he said he was disappointed when Shamal pointed him to dynamite instead. But he had lied about many, many things.

He had lied about wanting to become the Tenth Boss of the Vongola, if only to become accepted. He had lied about his parents and his heritage, if only to find a place to stay. He had lied about his power, if only to see the look of fear strike the opponent's eyes to show that his words had gone across. He had lied about protecting the Tenth, because each time he would see the Tenth get beat down and he would be in no position to help. It pained him watching his idol fighting for the all the things his Boss wanted to keep.

And Gokudera would have jumped into battle without a second thought if his Boss had ever ordered him to. He would dash between an attack and his Boss, even if it meant sacrificing his life, if there was no way his Boss could dodge. He would have ceaselessly attacked the opponent even if all the bones in his body were broken if they dishonoured the Tenth in any way.

But he could not abandon his Rocket Bombs or his cigarette or his G-code even if the Tenth were to cast him out of the family or order him executed. He could not remove the signature scowl on his face nor dye his hair even if his Family depended on it.

Because Gokudera Hayato wanted to be recognised, and if he were to throw those traits away, he would become invisible. And in the end, he decided he never liked Shamal's mosquitoes anyway.

**K is for KIND**

Gokudera Hayato paid back everything he owed.

He paid back some cash he borrowed from his sister. He paid back the dynamite Shamal had lent him. He paid back his debts he had slowly accumulated over the years. He paid back the kindness the Tenth had showed him with vowed service for the rest of his life. And he paid back the idiots who had treated him badly. He paid them back a thousandfold for how they treated him. He never forgot. Not one of them.

Those maids in his old house would pay. The many Mafioso who had thrown him out onto the streets would pay. The idiots who had mugged him would pay. The bastard who had sent him halfway around the world searching for the Vongola family would pay. The pineapple-illusionist would pay. The knife-bastard would pay. The Boss of the fuckin' Varia would pay. Byaku_-fucking-_ran was going to have hell rained on him when Hayato had finished with him.

And in a sense, they did.

The mains in his old house were fired when he left. The many Mafioso who had thrown him out were destroyed one by one as he went around to their bases and shattered their Families. The idiots who mugged him were caught and killed. The bastard who sent him false information was assassinated by a hitman. The knife-bastard lost with a humiliating defeat in the Sky Battle. The Boss of the Varia was forced to serve the very person he had tried to destroy.

And Byakuran?

Hell, like Hayato ever had to bother with _him_ again.

**U is for UNCERTAIN**

If one made him count, there were few things in Gokudera's life that he did not regret. He did not regret running away from home—that was probably the best thing he had ever done. He did not regret meeting Shamal, if only to learn to use his weapons. He did not regret serving the Tenth, because if running away was the best thing he had ever done, then serving the Tenth is the best thing that could have happened. All in all, he counted himself lucky.

But those were the only three instances he did not regret. Everything else, from not even having a decent conversation with that woman he now knew to be his mother to attacking the Tenth, he regretted. But he disliked thinking about that, so he pushed it away from his mind.

It still lurked, though. Every day, the choices he was given plagued him. If he chose right for himself, would the Tenth approve of his choice? If he chose wrong for everyone, what were the consequences? If he chose right for his Family, but not himself, would he become miserable? If he chose wrong for his Family, but right for the Tenth, then...

Then what? That was one question he kept asking himself.

What if the Tenth did not approve of U.M.A.'s? What if the Tenth disliked his new clothes or his style of fighting? What if the Tenth ordered him to do the impossible, or to sacrifice himself for the sake of someone else? To what extent would he do to serve his beloved Boss?

He wondered. He wondered for a long time. He almost grew sick of wondering, and turned his mind to other things, only for the thought to re-emerge when it was quiet. The simple answer was easy: serve until death. But the questions his restless mind so intelligently threw at him were not easy to answer.

But when he made his first trip into the world of Ten Years Later, Gokudera Hayato made his choice.

If he chose wrong for his Family, but right for the Tenth, then it didn't matter if the world came crashing down.

**D is for DESPERATE**

He really began to give up after his 26th try.

No matter what anyone else told you, wandering around looking for a place to be accepted was not easy. It was not fun. It made you want to break and kill something, if only for that thing to appreciate your existence. It made you want to scream at the bloody sky and pound your fists against the door that had just shut in your face.

Gokudera Hayato did all of that. He broke things. He killed things. He screamed curses at the sky and slammed his fist at the door. It didn't help.

Any normal person would have given up and gone to live in a normal society. Hayato was so very close to doing that. It was so easy, simply walking into the police station and make up a lie and get them to find an orphanage that would take you. He almost did it, too.

He walked right up to the doors of a police station and stood there for a long while, just staring at the normality of it all. He took a step forward, hesitated, then took a step back. Took another step forward. Another one back.

Hayato clenched his fists. He bit his tongue until he could feel and taste the warm blood. He closed his eyes and let tears spill down his dirt-encrusted face. He took a shaky breath and stepped backwards. Then he turned and, still crying, ran from the city and never looked back again.

**E is for EARNEST**

Being in the Mafia, Gokudera Hayato doesn't go by many policies. In fact, he only has one. If you have set your mind to do something, you _must_ do it to the best of your ability. It was the one and only law he lived by, and perhaps the only thing that helped him survive.

It was the reason he didn't give up and just hand himself over to the police. It was the reason he travelled all over the world in search of the strongest Mafia Family. It was the reason he, upon finding said strongest Mafia Family, served his Boss with absolute loyalty and eagerness and devotion. It was the reason he didn't throw Yamamoto off a cliff at first sight. It was the reason he loathed himself for losing the Storm Ring.

And when he saw the Tenth's coffin ten years into the future, Hayato doubled his resolve. No, he tripled it. He lived so fiercely by it that many considered he was wasting his time and better off just becoming a normal assassin.

Many told him such, too. But when they did, Hayato merely laughed scornfully in their faces. He wasn't about to believe some cock-and-bull from a bastard he had just met. But when the famous Arcobaleno Reborn told him he was probably wasting his time, Gokudera Hayato broke inside.

That is, until Reborn mentioned he was the least likely person to fail at protecting the Tenth.

Then Hayato's resolve flew together again. His eyes hardened. His heart pounded. And all thoughts of misgivings flew from his mind.

Because if _he _couldn't do it, the world must be screwed up indeed.

**R is for ROAD**

Gokudera Hayato had a path to walk along until three years old.

After that, his path became narrow and bumpy. It took all his willpower to stay on this road, and not to deviate to another which looked much smoother and wider. He walked. He tripped. He walked some more. He tripped some more. Many things got in his way. Large boulders he had to climb over. Ditches he had to either climb out of or jump over. Blobs of oozing purple poison he had to avoid, careful not to breathe in the fumes. He kept walking, having nothing better to do, until he was eight.

Then, the road seemed to become nothing more than a narrow dirt track. He couldn't take it anymore. He crossed over to a large, smooth path.

Eventually the path faded as well, becoming even worse than the original. If he fell, it was always into a mud puddle. If he stumbled, there was always a rock to stub his toe. If he cried, the sky would cry with him. If he laughed, the sun did also, and the heat scorched his back for hours on end. It was that way that Gokudera Hayato became strong.

Whenever he saw a path that looked better than his own, he took it. But always it was only a disguise – the beauty faded as soon as he stepped on. And when he turned back, his original path was no longer there. Thus, he was forced to keep walking, always hoping for some miracle to happen.

Eventually, he came to another road. It was wide and flat and looked so easy to walk on he almost stepped onto it. But from his original road there came a warm, orange glow. It seemed to engulf him and fill him with hope. He stood at the intersection for quite a while, thinking whether to tread the tough road in front of him with the warm glow, or to step onto the easy paved road and see where it takes him.

He decided for so long. And then at last, he walked forwards towards the glow.

And until this day, that was the only road he did not regret walking.

**A is for ACRONYM**

If Gokudera Hayato were to make an acronym out of his own name, G would stand for Genius. O would be for Odyssey. K would be for Keen. U would be Unwavering. D would be Devotion. E would be Eternal. R would be Reverent. And A? A would stand for Awesome.

When Hayato wrote this down and showed it to the Tenth, his Boss laughed.

"That's great, Gokudera-kun! It fits you so well! Why don't you write one for me as well?"

He did.

"T is for Trust, Tenth," he smiled. "What do you think?"

"Amazing!" Tsuna agreed. "Although, Gokudera-kun, why does N stand for Not-Useless?"

Hayato peered at his work. "Because...uh...Tenth...well..."

Tsuna laughed. "It's okay, Gokudera-kun."

Hayato laughed with him. To him, Sawada Tsunayoshi had too little letters to sum up what he thought of his Boss. He was caring, he was thoughtful, he was wonderful and radiant and brilliant and strong and—

"Write an essay about it," Reborn interrupted.

"Reborn-san!"

And Gokudera did not regret a single step in his journey. It had lead him somewhere near and exciting, but more importantly, it had led him somewhere where he belonged. And as he walked home with the Tenth, Gokudera Hayato considered himself the luckiest person in the world.

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**A/N:** I was quite stuck on U and A. I wanted to do Hayato too, but I've got no time right now. If you want me to continue, drop a review? xD

Like, seriously. Review? ^^

Happy Birthday, Hayato-kun!

~CC


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